The markets have hit a "double bird." Engines are out. Captain Finance has radioed the tower- "We're going down. Please alert the ground crew."
Ah, but we have a hero in our midst. Calm. Cool. The Master Of Avoiding Disaster.
The one. The only.
Captain Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger III.
Savior Of US Airways Flight 1549.
Sully, we need your expertise. We have a bunch of so-called "pilots" in Washington, D.C. and New York who are flying a lumbering financial jet by the seats of their pants. No flight plan. No radar. Lost- somewhere over the Potomac.
Sully. Please land this aircraft safely. Somewhere. In a field. In a river.
Do your thing. You've earned our awe and admiration. We can't do what you do. If we could, we already would. We're only terrified passengers on this crazy plane- strapped into our seats. Heads in crash positions. Praying. Remembering. Bull markets flashing through our brains in slow motion. Helpless. Desperately trying to believe in the pilot and co-pilot in the cabin. Strangers whom we've never met. Whom we now entrust with our financial lives.
Sully. How fast can we drop you to the tower? How about today? Will that work for you?
And, when you get there, radio Geithner ASAP. Tell him to jettison all capital injection fuel and, instead, activate the emergency "bad bank" switch, to lift toxic assets off of struggling banks' books.
Captain Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger, we give you our blessing.
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Friday, January 23, 2009
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