We all heard him say it. USA Corp stock analyst B.H. Obama called for American stocks to outperform. Then again, he mixed up some terms in his statement. He probably meant "price-to-earnings" ratio, or something like that. But, hey- who cares! He's the one with the insider info. Insider info made public rules. No?
I guess, given the stock slang slip up, he's a newbie analyst at the company. But he'll learn. Newbie's have a lot to prove. And one thing is for sure- no analyst wants to make a bad call and be laughed out of town. Especially when billions of people around the world hear you make it. That goes for newbie analysts even more so. 'Cause you'd get fired if you're wrong, what with so many people hanging on your every word. Sort of like hanging on every word Meredith Whitney says about banks, only bigger in scope- and in the other direction.
I mean, Cramer makes a lot of calls on the tube. Meredith makes a lot of calls- and, she got some things so right, heck- she went and started her own firm.
Obama made a single call. But it rated a 2.9 for difficulty. So, everyone wants to see if he lands the perfect dive or if he hits his head on the board. Yuck!
Main Street- both taxpayers and investors (aren't they the same thing?)- heard it. And they're now betting for or against the Prez. He put it to them good: "Bet on Obama because I am Obama, and you just wish you were me"
Main Street fired back, "Uh, will that be a 401k straddle or a day trade close of market cover-buy?" Wait a second. That's Wall Street lingo...Okay. Try again, "We're heading to the Mall to pick up Susan, but, I'll call my broker once I open my mail that's been under my bed for 6 months. Have you seen my Hummer keys?"
Odds makers in Vegas lay odds at 3:1 Obama's correct. Then again, odds makers in Vegas are pretty much the only people left in Vegas, after D.C. law makers scared everyone out of town.
So how can you trade the Obama outperform rating? Simple: don't bet against it. Else he may socialize you. That means, for every trade you make on the market, he'll tax you .25% trader tax. Ye-haw. Now that's entertainment.
But, seriously, if you are trying to find a bottom, and wish to jump in, then drain the pool and take the plunge, You don't have to do a 2.9 DOD- just do a belly flop, and never mind the splat.
You gotta love it though. I mean, here we have the President of the United States Of What Was America providing a call based on insider knowledge- and the guy didn't even have to file an SEC form! Not only that- he's got no "safe harbor" worries because you can't sue the guy. And the SEC's new chief-ess, Mary Schapiro, owes him a favor or two for putting her at the helm.
So Wall Streeters and Main Streeters can take Mr. Obama's insider tip to the bank. Will that be a bailout bank- or my local credit union, then? Thank you very much, Sir. Never mind the no-frills, Sir.
Do you think Obama told Tim Geithner not to screw up the plan now that the world is now watching? Sure thing. Guys are guys. It's a bonding thing. Just ask the boys at AIG, Goldman Sachs (GS) and Bank Of America (BAC).
In the next little while, as details of the public/private partnership emerge relating to all those "toxic assets" (can someone please come up with a better name- I'm sick of this one), and details emerge out of the March 12 mark-to-market hearing aimed at relieving pressure on our institutions, it would certainly seem things are about to pop on the market (don't hold me to the day).
I know this pop is coming because the Man made the Call. And with each and every day that a hundred million US taxpayers are getting tanked in the markets- life savings going out the window- Obama will have some serious egg on his face if he's wrong, even in the near-term. Plus, he's got Doctor Doom in his back pocket.
It's a no-brainer.
The Crash was for a good cause, right? So, no one sell. And, everyone hit your bookies up tomorrow for a buy.
Remember- they'll give you the odds- and throw in the vig if you're chumped way up on the money...
(Author is long on Thomas Jefferson, a good ol' Capitalist Cowboy)
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